Mak, Maafin Aku.

hi! this is my 2nd post XDD nooot ! my third-_– the another one is ‘noname,’ i posted it when i tried to register this blog to google search engine. and the result… oh crap, that’s quite difficult to understand-__- eventough, there are many tutorials in google. but as still i can, i’ll try on my own ;)) but, now i give uuup w(‘A’w) maybeeee, in the sunday i’ll try once agaiiin !

ohyeaaah, i learn many things today :’)) before then, i wanna to say something..

“thank you for today, my sweet Lord and thank you for everything that you have given to me♥ Alhamdulillah Ya Allah :’))”

soo, i get lil depressed just now. and that’s made me asked to Allah like this..

“If i’m the burden of my parents, and i always made them bad, please.. let me die.”

and that was continuedly..

“Surely, i think that’s better if i’m gone. i’m not using. i can’t make my parents happy. i can’t make them smile like before. i always make them angry and worry. i even become burden to my friends. i even can’t make them smile and happy. badly, i always think negative about them, whereas.. they always kind to me, help me, make me smile and always make me support. but, i just always.. DO that. that BAD HABIT. so now, i’m a burden Ya Allah. if i’m gone in this world.. no one will cry for me, everybody will get happier, and goes on their each life. so please, let me die or kill me now Ya Allah..”

aaand, i’m crying like a niagara waterfall(?)

i felt sad.

i felt very guilty.

i felt depressed.

i felt ashamed to myself.

i felt like i’m the fool one in this world.

i felt that.. something wrong with me.

i felt that.. i’m not on my ‘old’ version. i’m ‘new’ that has bad, bad and bad development from old.

and that’s what i realized today. Not today, JUST NOW! because of some mess up thing at my fam. called that ‘privacy.’ and i know, all of my pray were wrong. yeah, totally seriously.

and the valuable thing is.. well, what? i’m confused-__- #that’s called KOPLAK# the valuable thing is…

“Just Do YOUR BEST, PRAY and PRESENTS that to your lovely people♥

okaaaay, that’s all for today! oh yeaaah, i’ll post #CLS on Sunday maybe.. because there are some kinds of thing that should set up again. #that’snotimportant-__-# once again, i’m sorry if my English was bad :pp I’m just student that still learn, dream and tryin to make it real♥

#Oh Gooood! why can i so poetic nooow ?! :’)) waaaa, i’m very in love with myself and ability that i haaave :’DD# YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAAAAIN~~ mwahahahawk~ IF YOU’RE IN LOVE WITH ME BECAUSE OF THAAAT, RAISE YOUR HAND !! I’m still SINGLEEE XDDD #loh.

last, but not least..

Mak, maafin aku :’))

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